“GOD DO YOU CARE”?
I was born in a parsonage. My father had pastored the city Church of God. He and mother prayed that God would give them a daughter-a daughter who would play the piano and sing. When I was born, they rejoiced and named Joyce.
I loved music and before reaching my eight year, I knew that I wanted to be a concert pianist. I wasn’t leaving God out-and yet I was! I sang and played in Church, but I was not really saved. My supposed Christianity consisted only to a list of “do’s” and “don’t’s”.
At the age of fifteen, I told my parents, “Let me love God in my own way. I don’t want to be a Christian fanatic”. I thought I could run my own life and in case of emergencies, God could “help me out”-but I must not be hindered in my ambitions.
I put my career at the top of the list. Then I found a man I could love. When he asked me to be his wife, my ready answer was there. We started our home, we thought on the promise of loving God. We both become active in the church. Eighteen months later came our blue-eyed Ricky. Two years later, lovely Laurie joined our family.
A handsome husband, two lovely children and a singing career should have been enough to make any woman happy, but I was mistaken! I was neurotic and miserable. Our marriage, only years old, was in trouble.
I couldn’t convince Dick my husband that I enjoy and love my career and I have to continue it. He insisted that I should care for the children; wash dishes, and keep the house clean. That caused all our troubles.
By this time, neither of us was devoted to God. Our prayers were stopped. We talk very little with one another. Our hearts were far apart and never discussed the real issues of life.
Soon there was no hope and I knew it. There was no love-only hate. I was disgusted for living. I was through!
“Hell could be no worse”. I hated by stubborn, good looking husband. I didn’t like being a mother. Life became just one horrible day after another. I decided that suicide was the only way out. I got a razor blade and as I lowered the sharp blade, ready to slash my wrist, the telephone rang. I let it ring; it kept ringing. But the caller was insistent. I picked up the phone & answered, “Hello”. She was the Christian Young lady I met when singing for the Christian Youth Festival and said, “I don’t know what you are doing, Joyce, but whatever it is, stop and listen to me”. Sensing that I was not in the mood to listen, she shouted, “Joyce, the Bible says, having done all, to stand”.
She was still talking as I slammed down the receiver. I took the razor blade again, intended to end it all. But my strength was gone.
I put down the razor blade and asked, “God do you care about me?”.
The Lord answered with a Bible verse I had learned as a child, “the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost”.
In the living room I dropped to my knees by a chair and prayed, “Merciful God, forgive me. I know now you care for me. I might have committed an unpardonable sin by taking my own life”. The Lord showed me that I have rebelled against Him, my parents, my home and children. Tenderly He spoke to me, assuring me that I was forgiven of my sins. I rose to my feet a new girl, a new Joyce Landorf!
A question came to my mind, “But what about Dick? Can love once dead live again?”
I was cooking supper when Dick came in. I turned off the oven, with a joy of tears, told him what happened to me. He moved closer and put his arms around me also with tears of joy. “Joyce”, he said. “I want to tell you about the miracle that happened to me also today. With the words of a defeated man on the envelope I wrote, “To Joyce: when you find this letter I will be dead”.
“But Joyce, as I sealed that letter, the Lord said, “Dick suicide is not the answer. I am the answer. I am all you need. I will give you abundant life.
We both knelt down in prayer, thanking God for His restoring mercy.
From than on, Dick and I with our lovely children live together happily in our home!
I loved music and before reaching my eight year, I knew that I wanted to be a concert pianist. I wasn’t leaving God out-and yet I was! I sang and played in Church, but I was not really saved. My supposed Christianity consisted only to a list of “do’s” and “don’t’s”.
At the age of fifteen, I told my parents, “Let me love God in my own way. I don’t want to be a Christian fanatic”. I thought I could run my own life and in case of emergencies, God could “help me out”-but I must not be hindered in my ambitions.
I put my career at the top of the list. Then I found a man I could love. When he asked me to be his wife, my ready answer was there. We started our home, we thought on the promise of loving God. We both become active in the church. Eighteen months later came our blue-eyed Ricky. Two years later, lovely Laurie joined our family.
A handsome husband, two lovely children and a singing career should have been enough to make any woman happy, but I was mistaken! I was neurotic and miserable. Our marriage, only years old, was in trouble.
I couldn’t convince Dick my husband that I enjoy and love my career and I have to continue it. He insisted that I should care for the children; wash dishes, and keep the house clean. That caused all our troubles.
By this time, neither of us was devoted to God. Our prayers were stopped. We talk very little with one another. Our hearts were far apart and never discussed the real issues of life.
Soon there was no hope and I knew it. There was no love-only hate. I was disgusted for living. I was through!
“Hell could be no worse”. I hated by stubborn, good looking husband. I didn’t like being a mother. Life became just one horrible day after another. I decided that suicide was the only way out. I got a razor blade and as I lowered the sharp blade, ready to slash my wrist, the telephone rang. I let it ring; it kept ringing. But the caller was insistent. I picked up the phone & answered, “Hello”. She was the Christian Young lady I met when singing for the Christian Youth Festival and said, “I don’t know what you are doing, Joyce, but whatever it is, stop and listen to me”. Sensing that I was not in the mood to listen, she shouted, “Joyce, the Bible says, having done all, to stand”.
She was still talking as I slammed down the receiver. I took the razor blade again, intended to end it all. But my strength was gone.
I put down the razor blade and asked, “God do you care about me?”.
The Lord answered with a Bible verse I had learned as a child, “the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost”.
In the living room I dropped to my knees by a chair and prayed, “Merciful God, forgive me. I know now you care for me. I might have committed an unpardonable sin by taking my own life”. The Lord showed me that I have rebelled against Him, my parents, my home and children. Tenderly He spoke to me, assuring me that I was forgiven of my sins. I rose to my feet a new girl, a new Joyce Landorf!
A question came to my mind, “But what about Dick? Can love once dead live again?”
I was cooking supper when Dick came in. I turned off the oven, with a joy of tears, told him what happened to me. He moved closer and put his arms around me also with tears of joy. “Joyce”, he said. “I want to tell you about the miracle that happened to me also today. With the words of a defeated man on the envelope I wrote, “To Joyce: when you find this letter I will be dead”.
“But Joyce, as I sealed that letter, the Lord said, “Dick suicide is not the answer. I am the answer. I am all you need. I will give you abundant life.
We both knelt down in prayer, thanking God for His restoring mercy.
From than on, Dick and I with our lovely children live together happily in our home!
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